Completely Irregular
by merlin1008
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby quit their jobs and think they can hit it of as monsters hunters. Will they do alright, or will Maellard get to say,"I told you so", when he actually didn't?
1. Chapter 1

**I claim no rights to the show or anything I have not made up.**

**Mordecai's POV**

SAY WHAT! "I said I'm docking your pay. You both have caused nothing but trouble.""You can't do this"'Shut up raccoon!" "Dude, you realize that it's not an insult if I actually am a raccoon, right?"" One more peep and your both fired!" No, you know what, WE QUIT!" Yeah,you're a jerk Malord!"

Okay, dude just start packing your things. "Good thing we bought the cart or I would just die!" Yeah, but I don't know what we're gonna do from here first we need new jobs. " Dude, I got it! What's something that we both discovered we were really good at?" I don't know. " Defeating the supernatural! All that stuff was fun and we could be self-employed!" Good idea dude! Okay, know we need somewhere to stay...Of course! We could get a van! We could keep the cart in the back and stay in there! Like a traveling business. " Yeah! Were gonna do great!"

Bye guys. " Wait! Before you go, I know a guy who sells fling cars and vans cheap. Here's his card. Tell him I sent you." Thanks, muscle man.

Okay so we were sent by muscle man, how much is this one, it looks like it can hold the cart." Hmmmm, fifty bucks."Dude thanks, here you go. Come on dude.

Okay, so we've got a new job, new place to sleep, and new wheels. We're gonna do just fine.


	2. The Angry Witch

**Mordecai's POV**

Okay dude, were gonna need a gig, some thing to make a name for ourselves, ideas Rigby? " There's been a haunting. Some dude bought a hotel dirt cheap and now a ghost refuses to let anyone out and is stealing the souls of the guest."

Hello, owner dude? "Huh? OH NO!, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!" Calm down dude, we're monster hunters. We've come here to help you stop the ghost in here. "Thank you, this is all my fault! Long ago, in pioneer times, a young witch girl and her mother were executed here. When the mother died, the girl , upon death, grew angry seeing the people laugh in joy. Her anger kept her in this world and her spirit fused with this house. People began vanishing at hand of the girl. Until a priest came and enclosed the girls spirit within the house forever. And that is the house we are in now. She's angry because she can't rest in pease and she wouldn't have to if it weren't for mankind. I'm the only one who's been around for a night and I'm not proud of it. OH NO! more guest! Get out this place is haunted and, oh- forget it it's to late anyway. See, I can't help them and this is all my fault! " "Don't worry old dude, me and Mordecai will stop this, HUH!"** Mordecai and Rigby gaze at the doorway as Chad and Jeremy walk through.**

WHAT THE FLIP ARE YOU DOING HERE?! "We're here to stop the ghost! What are you doing here?" Same thing! And were going to do it! "Now, Now, calm down. Both teams can try it their own ways." We'll let you to make your move first, Jeremy. "Can you completely describe the situation?"** The hotel owner, repeats the story he told Mordecai and Rigby. Now Chad and Jeremy make their move.**

"Chad, what does the manual say?" "It says that the best way to deal with angry child ghost is to force it into submission and enclose it into an item where it can cause no harm to anyone. But we have to find her first.

Rigby, what does our manual say? " It says that the way to deal with angry child ghost is to put them at peace. Avoid their attacks and stay here longer than anyone else. That will make them angry and turn the house into a energy filled plain. While there, we'll have to convince her she's doing the wrong thing." , do you have any vacant rooms?

**While at the hotel, Mordecai and Rigby bump into Chad and Jeremy.**

Why are you guys scanning the rooms? "To find the ghost of course." Well it's not gonna..."AAAAHHHHHHH!"

WHAT HAPPENED ? " Somebody's soul was just taken. The lost souls the ghost has enslaved came and took her soul." _RUMBLE RUMBLE_

What's going on? " The manual says that when this happens it signals..."** Other lost souls rise up from the ground.**

"That happening." **The souls attack the guest, stealing their souls and turning their bodies to stone. Then dust turns to the stone bodies of the missing pioneers and the bodies of past guest. Then all the bodies come to life and attack the guest. When they do things that would normally kill them, they're souls are taken and they turn to stone minions as well. Soon the only ones left are Moredecai, Rigby,Jeremy,Chad,and .**

We're doomed! "Help!" **is being dragged by a spirit arm into a vortex and Mordecai and Rigby try to save him ,but he is pulled in and the vortex closes.**

"What do we do?" ** The statues close in.**

Wait! Stop! We just want to talk with you!** The statues still close in. **You're acting like the evil one, sending your goons to do your dirty work.** The ground rumbles again and the hotel turns into an alternate dimension resembling witch is across the room. ** "_I am the one who wants revenge, not the one who is evil. It is you're people who are evil. You did this to me and you must be punished! Me and my mother use our powers for good and out of foolish fear, we were KILLED!_" Wait, people aren't like that anymore. And anyone who is is shamed upon. Right Rigby? "Yeah, it's true. They can't even torture people like they did you anymore. People have change and if you free the pioneer dudes I'm sure they'll change to." The world is better now. **The ghost turns into the young girl she used to be. **"_But I'm trapped here,_ forever." I'm sure you could break the curse if you just calmed down and tried. You can free yourself just try. ** The witch flies up and chains appear and pull her chains turn blue and break.**" I'm free. Thank you Moredecai and Rigby. You've opened my eyes to the truth and freed me from my curse. I can now rejoin with my mother. I now release the souls I have taken." **The lost souls turn white and return to ****their bodies. The statues come back to life but in their original form.**** Everyone is teleported outside and Mordecai and Rigby run outside and see the witch. The witch flies over the tree where she was buried and dust encircle's her, turns into stone, and comes back to life. The statue turns to dust once more and the witch emerges as an angel. She flies into the sky and dissapears, waving at Mordecai and Rigby.**

Talk about going out in stile. Right Rigby? "Yeah,hope she's with her mother."

"Hey guys." What, Jeremy? "You guys handled that pretty well, but next time we'll win it."

"Thank you for saving our souls from eternal woe. Here's 500$." Thanks ."Oh, and I called the press."

_Mordecai and Rigby save lost souls._

_Former grounds keepers Mordecai blue jay and Rigby raccoon save lost souls from a haunted say that it was the manual that gave them the information they needed and that the ghost was an innocent good witch. When asked why they quit their jobs as groundskeepers they say,"Because the owner of the park docked our pay." They currently have jobs as monster hunters, which was their reason for coming to the hotel. They have become the most popular people in New York._

Dude this is awesome! We're on the cover page and the news! " Yeah, and it's all thanks to that witch!" "Here's some coffee on the house to celebrate the best monster hunters!" Thanks CJ.

**Hope you all like this chapter! I got the idea from Paranorman.**


	3. Asmerrellda and the Amulets

Dude, there's nothing to do today! "You're right! I thought being famous would be more exciting." **Just then, someone passes out on the side of the van. **"That's what I'm talking about!" **Mordecai and Rigby call the paramedics for the stranger (female little girl). When they leave, they ask who the girl is.**

"My name is Asmerrellda Lorius, but you can just call me A.L." We're... "You're Mordecai and Rigby. I know because I was sent here to find you." Cool, but why? " A dark force is gaining energy. Have you noted that many supernatural things happen here, in this town?" Yeah... "That's because of this force. It's curse gains energy with every evil deed and loses energy with every good. It's master seeks to destroy you and take your energy for his own and I was sent to protect you." But you're just a little kid. "My life goes over a thousand years back. I have eternal youth so I won't look weird to your society. But that is of no importance. Do you know of the Park Wide Fest?" "Yeah. It's a big party that has stuff all through out the park. There's a chest opening thing at the end of the park but no one's ever opened it before." "Inside that chest is something of great strength and Mordecai is the only one who can open it. But the dark forces will do everything in their power to stop us. We must go prepared and try to mask ourselves." Good thing it's a masquerade party.

So A.L. , this is the park. Ummmm, A.L? " She went up on that stage to play her flute." **After A.L. plays her flute, Mordecai signs up to be in the chest opening, which Benson is hosting.**

"Okay! Next up is Mordecai James!" Okay, it's time. **Moredecai picks up the chest and it starts to glow. When he opens it, a large flash of light appears and inside the box are three amulets. Just then, men in hoods appear.**

"Give us the amulets and no one gets hurt." **Mordecai and Rigby panic, but Asmerrellda simply puts on her amulet and tells them to do the same. When they do, weapons appear in their hands. A crossbow for Rigby, a spear for Asmerrellda and a sword for Mordecai. When they slay a hooded man, they disappear in a puff of smoke. There were close calls, and even closer ones, but they eventually slayed the hooded men and return to their van. When they get there, Mordecai and Rigby start asking questions.**

What the heck are these things, and how come they won't come off? "They are the Amulets of Power and because your no longer safe without them. My mother created them as the only source that can stop the dark force." "Wait so does that mean we're going to have to fight a bunch of evil dudes and eventually kill some guy with supernatural powers?" Does it ever go any other way Rigby? "Well, at least we're not board anymore.**  
**


	4. Asmerrellda Can Be Pretty Cool

Hey CJ! "Hey Eileen." "Hey guys. Who's the kid?" Ummmmm... "My name is Asmerrellda Lorius and I am over a thousand years old. I have eternal youth and..." _**Whack!**_ "Owwww! I will destroy you mortal!"** A.L. turns into a giant Arachnid/Human and grasp Rigby. She then realizes what she is doing and changes back, leaving Rigby paralyzed with fear [and possibly poison from her fangs].** WHAT THE?! "I forgot to tell you I can shape shift didn't I? Anyways, I was chosen to be the chosen protector of them both from the dark forces. **Rigby moans. **"BOOOOO!" "EXCUSE ME MORTAL?" "AHHHH, please stop!" Ha, ha, you're afraid of Asmerrellda. "Stop talking! Hey, you guys want to go to that dance at the skating ring.

"Rigby, another power I have is sensing the emotions of other people. You like that mole from the shop do you not?" "Ptf, no. She's really cool ummmm, but no." Ha ha. Asmerrellda, you're hilarious. Let's get you new skates."No. We must visit my hometown for training." "But the expensive skates will be there after." "This is the fate of the entire world. This is far more important than a cheap pair of shoes that have wheels on them. We're going to train.

**Later.**

"Asmerrellda, I don't want to do this." "Well we have to, and our next lesson will be on something you'll like, Rigby" "And what would that be?" "Magic!"

"Okay, I have to admit, this magic stuff is pretty cool." OOOOOOHHHHHH! "Why are you screaming OH?


End file.
